Wonder Woman

During our workout yesterday something very strange happened - Hyam's elbow dislocated.  Right there in front of us, while doing an inverted plank it just popped right out.  Thank God she was leaning on both arms because without that stability it surely would've popped right out of her skin.  Yes, it was that bad.

I'd like to say that we all reacted calmly and helpfully, but truthfully most of us had no clue what to do.  The lone guy in our group (who is obviously an amazing person because he puts up with us twice a week and is always in good spirits) pulled it together quickly enough to ask "What do you need us to do?"  while the rest of us stared in horror.

What did she need us to do?  Nothing, of course, because she's Hyam and she's not just another pretty face with rock hard abs.  She's a frickin' rockstar.  She somehow, despite the pain, mustered up the strength pop her elbow back in on her own (while the rest of of gawked).  Push - POP - and then "okay everyone -  feet on the quad for tricep push ups."  Ummmmm....okay.....

She finished the class with just a little less than her normal gusto and a lot of  "Are you sure"s and "Hyam, don't do that!"s.  We could all tell she was in pain - not to mention that we could see her elbow swelling like a balloon -  but we stood by our fearless leader lunging, squatting, curling and wondering - "who the hell is this woman anyway? Wonder Woman?  She-Ra?" Nope - she's better than that -  she's Hyam. 


And yes, I want to be as awesome as her when I grow up.

Photos Don't Lie: Part Deux

I threatened to post some pics awhile back but my insecurities got the best of me.  Now that I am unofficially 12 pounds down I am, actually, even LESS willing to do so.  Why?  Because I feel like I've been working my ass off and don't really look that different.  A few people have commented on how they can see it in my face (thank you friends!) and one of my sweet daughters recently said 'I can tell your boobs are smaller." (really?) but all in all I don't see much of a change.  

But I realized I had to get over my shame real quickly when Hyam had a photographer in the studio a few weeks ago taking pics for her website and an ad in a local publication.  As incredible as she is (check her out here)  - she couldn't hide the fact that I am, well,  still fat.  It was tough to look at - really tough.  Hyam did remind us to look at how strong we are and to be proud of what we're doing - which I am -  but I can't deny that it was nearly impossible to get my eyes to move past the huge ring around my stomach.

So, since the photos are going to be public I thought I'd fess up to the truth now.  Photos don't lie, right?  Below you'll find a few chronological photos from the past few years to the past few months.  There is truly only about 1 photo of me for every 200 we have in our files because 1) I'm always behind the camera and 2) I've not wanted to be in any pictures because of my weight.  I'm trying to let go of the second one, but it's not easy.

July 2008

Despite the obvious I was in major denial about my weight until I saw how awful I looked in this photo.  I was mortifed when we got back from this trip and saw it staring back at me.  How had I not seen this in the mirror?

July 2009

Nothing like standing next to your gorgeous, skinny family to remind you of how fat you are! I lost a few pounds before this trip - knowing I'd have to be with them - but my priorities got out of whack not too long after our return - and so did my weight.

April 2010 

So let me first say that this picture is horrendous and makes me look even worse than I really looked at the time.  I used it here because - how could I not?  I look like a beast.  It's one year later and I've managed to not just gain everything back but to actually exceed my former max capacity.  It was this vacation that finally got me thinking about true change.  (And no, I'm not passed out, just taking a little nap on the beach...with a margarita in my hand...)

May 2010 

I met Hyam shortly after that last beach trip.  About one month later I am 5 pounds down.  I appear very happy about it in this picture - and I am.  I'm feeling good, sleeping and can see changes already.

July 2010

10 pounds down. Though the pounds aren't falling off quite as quickly as I'd like them to I see and feel changes every day.  I'm still big, but a little smaller - and much stronger - than I was just a few months ago.  Interesting how photos can show you not only how far you've come, but also how far you have to go...

Emotional Eating

Yesterday was a struggle.  After feeling so proud for running two days in a row on my own I woke up to feel my shin splints rearing their ugly head. I was extremely disappointed because I had felt so good during my run that I thought that my increased fitness level might possibly be scaring them away.  No such luck.  Time to pull the bike down!

Later that afternoon the Spicy Chicken called with some news about his job.  Given the current state of the economy you can probably guess that this wasn't a reduction in worklload.  And while I fully realize I should be grateful that he even has a job, he already works 10+ hour days and travels 3 days a week, so I was a little distressed about the news.  Take a little tired, add a dash of frustration, sprinkle on a little resentment and you get a strong urge to do some major emotional eating.  

Though I certainly didn't set any healthy eating records I did much better than I would've three weeks ago when things went awry. I felt Hyam on my shoulder when I ordered the third beer, and I promised her it would be the last one of the night (it was, btw). I knew it wasn't going to make any of the frustration go away - and certainly wasn't going to help my self-esteem.  Thank goodness she seems to follow me everywhere I go (or could that actually be me starting to make small changes?).

The best part of the evening came, however, when we got home and I settled down behind my computer.  I opened up my Facebook account to see a message entitled "You Are My Hero".  It couldn't have come at a better time - and really, who wouldn't love to read that?  

Well, you can, in the next post!