Friday, December 10, 2010

Tears and Laughter

I spent Tuesday night with a few of my girlfriends. It wasn't your ordinary GNO, however. We entitled the evening "Tears and Laughter" because we started the evening at a church service held by The Compassionate Friends for parents whose children had died. Our friends Jennifer and John lost their son Carson a little over a year ago to complications to H1N1 and we were there to support Jennifer.  That was the "tears" part of our evening.

After the service (where there were definitely lots of tears) we all went out for a few cocktails and some laughter. It was a little somber at first, of course, but this is a really fun group of girls and tears of laughter ensued almost immediately. 

It was a very emotional evening for me on several different levels.  First, I was taken by surprise when I arrived at the church to see one of my babysitters standing at the door.  One of her sons had committed suicide several years ago - a story I had heard through the grapevine but she had never shared directly with me.  I smiled, hugged her and moved forward toward the two pews full of my friends.  As I rounded the corner I was completely taken aback when I saw my neighbor and her husband sitting in the last pew. I ignorantly asked, "Do you go to church here?"  I was unprepared to hear her respond with "Jennifer was killed in September."  Jennifer, their daughter, who was about my age, a single mom to 3 teenage daughters, was killed in September.  I had no idea.  I felt horrible for so many reasons.

When we were walking out of the service I stopped to hug and talk to her for a few minutes.  She said she wished her friends had come with her instead of her husband. Not surprisingly losing a child is extremely hard on many marriages - even those that are 30+ years strong.  My heart ached for her. I didn't know what to do or say so I just hugged her and said I'd be there.  I meant it, but I'm not sure how much it helped.

On the opposite end of the emotional spectrum I couldn't help but feel really blessed that night, too.  Don't get me wrong - I have spent hours crying over Carson's death, weeping for my friends' loss and questioning my God as to why this happened.  This night, however, I was also reminded of how fortunate we are.  I sat there surrounded by nine really incredible women that night there supporting their friend. Schedules were juggled, babysitters were called in and husbands came home early from work so that we could be there.  None of us gave it a second thought. There was no place we would've rather been.

Jennifer and John have started a great foundation called The Carson Raymond Foundation in Carson's honor. If you'd like to help bring baseball to kids in our community check out the foundation's website at or feel free to give me a call.  GO PLAY! 

No comments:

Post a Comment